An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
