I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
