can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
