she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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