I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize