on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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