yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
