apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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