The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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