im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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