I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
