RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
