New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
