He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
