3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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