she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
