could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
