i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize