My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
