She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
