i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
