tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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