And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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