Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
