I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
