weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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