what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
it's great music for shaving your balls
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
