I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize