we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I don't think brook has ever known best
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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