Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
