Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
