everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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