So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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