i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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