her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
