do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
