she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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