So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
