I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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