Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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