Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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