It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
