We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
