Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
