Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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