god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
