ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I think I won the penis lottery.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize