oh god the rape fog is back!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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