thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This baby is an asshole
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
