i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
