life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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