how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
pray to the hookup gods
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
