I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
