I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
