Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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