I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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