where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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