remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You made out with two different species that night
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
