Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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