i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
