when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize